The longest sentence known to man: "I do." p>
Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Born Free........Taxed to Death
Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Your mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory
I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others
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